Countertransference in therapy: Signs and impacts

Reviewed by Susan Radzilowski, MSW, LMSW, ACSW

Written by

therapist.com team

Last updated: 08/29/2025

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Layers of education, professional training, and social convention run through the therapist-client bond, but it’s still ultimately a human relationship. It’s impossible for either person to fully check their own emotions and learned behaviors at the door.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your therapist likes you or feels annoyed by you, or if they’re affected by your stories, you’ve probably found this to be true. These thoughts, whether from yourself or your therapist, are likely the result of transference and countertransference.

What is countertransference?

Countertransference builds on the concept of transference, and both provide important clinical information.

Transference occurs when you unconsciously project feelings or thought patterns learned from past experiences onto your therapist.¹ For example, if you had a critical parent, you might believe your therapist is judgmental even when they’re being supportive.

Countertransference is your therapist’s own emotional and psychological response to your transference during therapy sessions. These reactions can range from protective instincts to frustration, and they’re completely normal in the therapeutic process.

Is countertransference a problem in therapy?

Not necessarily. Your therapist is human, which means they naturally have emotional responses to your stories, personality, and behavior.² This isn’t unprofessional—it’s inevitable. But while countertransference is not a problem in itself, therapists’ responses may be problematic if they lack awareness or appropriate boundaries.

Countertransference is actually considered a central component in the therapy process.³ Modern therapists are trained to notice transference and countertransference and examine them for information about your inner worlds and potential barriers to treatment.⁴

How a therapist reacts to a patient can actually be a valuable source of information about what reactions the patient can elicit in the people around them.⁵

For example, if a patient is very insulting to everyone they come in contact with, including their therapist, they may be met with negative or even hateful feelings.⁶ These reactions reflect the patient’s behavior patterns and their need to evoke specific reactions in others rather than just the therapist’s personal response.

Sometimes therapists can appropriately share their reactions as part of treatment. Their feelings are sometimes apparent to the patient and denying them would be disingenuous. A therapist might acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, “You’re right that it was hard for me to hear you say that—let me explain why.”⁷

Disclosures like this should only happen when it helps your treatment and leads to interpretation and understanding rather than making you feel responsible for your therapist’s emotions.

Signs of problematic countertransference

While countertransference in therapy is normal, it becomes concerning when it interferes with your therapy progress or makes you uncomfortable. This can happen in several ways:⁸

When your therapist doesn’t fit with your personality: The connection between a therapist and client can be shaped by both people’s personalities, histories, and communication styles. At times, a therapist may notice their own reactions—such as feeling less effective or more disconnected—based on how they experience a client. This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with either person; it reflects the natural complexity of human relationships.

When your therapist shows hostility: This may include dismissing your distress, creating barriers to building trust, or limiting your autonomy in treatment decisions.

Other problematic countertransference examples include:

Struggling with session boundaries:

• Sessions that always run over time or end early
• Your therapist skips sessions or wants to meet socially outside the office
• They get angry when you contact them between sessions

Doing too much or too little:

• Your therapist gives you advice instead of helping you explore and discover your own solutions
• They do your tasks or exercises for you instead of letting you learn
• They avoid giving you challenging assignments because they’re afraid you’ll get upset

Emotional reactions:

• Not respecting your strong feelings like anxiety, fear, shame, or disgust
• Pushing you to share painful things before you’re ready
• Treating you like you’re too fragile and avoiding important topics
• Acting uncomfortable when you talk about personal or intimate problems

Unprofessional behavior:

• Showing off or trying to impress you instead of helping you
• Talking about you with other professionals in inappropriate ways
• Being cold or distant with your emotional needs
• Having trouble setting boundaries or handling confrontation

Inappropriate attraction or romantic feelings

One of the most serious forms of problematic countertransference involves romantic or sexual feelings. Sometimes therapists can develop feelings of tension, desire, or attraction toward patients.⁹ When this happens, it can cause problems with maintaining proper boundaries.

Warning signs include:

• Your therapist shows excessive protective behavior toward you
• Flirting during sessions
• Touching you or sitting too close
• Frequent talking about sex in sessions

Any romantic or sexual relationship between you and your therapist is unethical and potentially illegal, regardless of who initiates it. If you suspect your therapist has romantic feelings, seek consultation from another mental health professional immediately. You can also speak with your state or county recipient rights office.

What to do about countertransference

Recognizing potential countertransference is the first step. In many cases, you can address minor countertransference issues directly with your therapist.

Good therapists will appreciate your insight and address the issue professionally if you bring it up with them. Managing countertransference is a part of their job and one they’ve been trained to handle.

Therapists use several methods to manage their reactions:¹⁰

• Self-reflection and awareness of their physical feelings and moods
• Supervision with other professionals to discuss difficult cases
• Personal therapy to identify and work through their own issues

When countertransference becomes an issue, they might:

• Acknowledge the reaction and refocus on your needs
• Seek additional supervision or consultation
• Refer you to a colleague

When to consider a new therapist

Some countertransference issues require ending the therapeutic relationship:

• Any romantic or sexual behavior
• Persistent judgment or criticism
• Progress has stopped due to their personal reactions
• You feel uncomfortable or unsafe

Changing therapists doesn’t reflect badly on you. Sometimes the therapeutic relationship simply isn’t a good fit, and that’s okay.

Finding the right therapist for you

Research shows that managing countertransference is important for good therapy outcomes, so it’s worth asking questions about a potential therapist’s approach to self-awareness and professional development.¹¹

When looking for a new therapist, consider:

• Asking about their experience with your specific concerns
• Discussing their approach to managing their own emotional reactions
• Choosing someone who demonstrates clear professional boundaries
• Trusting your gut feeling about the therapeutic relationship

Ready to find a therapist who can maintain appropriate boundaries while providing effective treatment? Search our directory of qualified mental health professionals.