Zoë Whaley, LCSW

I have been a psychotherapist for over 10 years and have specific expertise in helping couples move past old patterns that are keeping them stuck in argument, disconnection, distance, and hurt. You deserve a relationship with warmth, connection, true intimacy, and accountability.

I have specific expertise and am particularly passionate about working with couples in which one or both people have been impacted by traumatic and/or distressing life experiences, especially those that occurred within the context of a close relationship (i.e. parents/caregivers). Such experiences can result in feeling 'stuck'. You may find yourself:

Reacting instead of responding
Feeling unable to move on after conflict (stuck in resentment or victimhood)
Meeting your partner with defensiveness or dismissal
Doubting yourself and your own reality
Being betrayed (infidelity) or feeling justified in betraying your partner
Stuck repeating patterns of behavior that feel self-defeating or confusing.

Shifting these patterns can feel overwhelming or downright impossible. I can help. Although my work with you attends to what happened in the past, we do so to gain insight into how your past shapes the way you show up in your current relationship(s). I help couples move towards greater intimacy. You deserve to show up for yourself and your relationships in a healthier, more skillful, and more connected way.

I employ Relational Life Therapy (developed by Terry Real), which is a transformational approach to couples/relationship counseling. RLT differs from traditional couples therapy in 3 primary ways. First, RLT therapists are compassionately direct. I feel comfortable directly, but lovingly confronting my clients with the unhealthy behaviors they are engaged in that are harming their relationships. Most clients feel a sense of relief at having a therapist directly name unhelpful patterns (often by the end of the first or second session). Second, RLT therapists conduct trauma work in the presence of the other partner. I conduct deep inner child work to help heal the wound that is often at the core of unhealthy relationship behaviors. Witnessing this process with your partner(s) present can increase empathy and build a deeper connection. Third, I teach clients skills to navigate conflict, nurture intimacy, and sustain connection and, perhaps most importantly, I help deal with the part of you that doesn't want to use skills!