Topher McMullin, LMFT

I am an experienced therapist based in San Francisco committed to helping both individuals and couples work through life's challenges while becoming more resilient and purpose driven in the process.

For as long as I can remember, I've always valued being empathic and compassionate -- I think it's fair to say that some of my early life experiences helped instill this in me. If little-kid-me had a chip on his shoulder, it was believing that 1) people should be supported when they're struggling, 2) our differences should be celebrated — ie. we shouldn't try to force a round peg into a square hole, and 3) everyone has the capacity to thrive, especially when we collectively create the right conditions.

At the same time, even as a kid, I’ve always had the sense that life is fleeting, something not to be wasted. Each of us only gets only so much time on this planet, and we owe it to ourselves and to each other to make the most of it.

As a therapist, part of my job is to support people (and relationships) in distress. This often includes helping clients get through a crisis, or helping them cope with things like anxiety, anger, depression, chronic stress, loss, and conflict. Indeed it’s a real joy to see my clients learn to navigate these challenges more skillfully, often growing and becoming more resilient along the way.

But I want to add that therapy can be about more than just developing better ways to cope: I also help my clients take on life's big questions, figuring out who they want to be and what they want their life to be about. Often this involves major life decisions and transitions, such as committing to a partner, possibly ending a relationship, or exploring a new career path. The work often involves a combination of mindfully noticing our patterns of avoidance in day to day life as well developing greater emotional flexibility so that we don't necessarily fall back into those old patterns. Instead, we can be free to chart a new course in life. When invited to do so, I use the therapeutic process to help hold my clients accountable to their commitments and values. I also coach them on research-backed skills and strategies to help them more skillfully work toward their goals so that session by session, therapy translates into positive real world change.