Robert 'Tor' Beinhocker, LPCC

I’m a somatic and Gestalt therapist in Boulder, CO, trained in EMDR, who goes beyond talk therapy to help you heal trauma, narcissistic abuse, and relationship wounds at the root.

Performing through life can drain you, especially when you carry a lot. You may be the one who holds it together so well that most people don’t see the costs. Maybe you’ve talked through your past before, and it helped, but it never quite reached the place where you actually feel it.

Sometimes it feels like you’re compensating for something broken inside. You are not broken. None of us is broken at the core. We’re covered by what we learned in order to survive. I know this from my own life. For many years I sat in the client’s seat, working to understand why I felt insecure, anxious, and alone. What helped most wasn’t more insight. It was being met by therapists who stayed beside me with curiosity, not diagnosis, while I found my way back to who I was underneath.

Who I work with
That survival learning shows up in many ways: people-pleasing, boundary issues, choosing partners who hurt you, pulling away from the people you love, or doubting your own reality. I work with individuals 16+ going through trauma, attachment struggles, codependency, anxiety, depression, and life transitions. Much of my work is with people recovering from narcissistic abuse, whether from a parent, a partner, or both. If you’ve been gaslit or made to feel too much, you’ll be believed here.

How we work together
Therapy here goes beyond talking. We work with the foundation underneath, in your body as well as your story, so change is felt, not only understood. Early attachment and what happened to you growing up are often the roots of what you’re living now, so we look there, not only at symptoms.

- Somatic therapy helps us work with what your nervous system holds, even when you don’t have the words or memories for it.
- Gestalt lets you try new ways of relating right in the session, not just talk about them.
- EMDR can help painful memories lose their charge.
- IFS parts work helps you understand the parts of you that learned to protect you.

You set the pace and always have the final say in what we try. Feelings you may have learned to hide, including anger, are welcome. Often they’re where your own sense of self has been waiting.

A little about me
I hold an MA in Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling from Naropa University and a certificate in Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy, and I’m EMDRIA-trained. I interned for nearly two years in the mental health unit of the Boulder County Jail, where I learned how much can happen when the roles slip away and it’s simply one person beside another. I’ve practiced Buddhist meditation for 20 years, and all wisdom traditions are welcome in our work. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate in Colorado, supervised by Shyamaa M. Creaven, PhD, LPC. You may also meet my cat, Bardo, if we work online.

Practical details
We can meet in person at my office in Boulder or online anywhere in Colorado. Sessions are $140, with a sliding scale available to make it affordable to you. I don’t take insurance, but I can provide a superbill for reimbursement through your insurance or HSA.

Reaching out can feel like a lot, especially if you’re used to handling things on your own. You don’t need to have it all sorted out first. If you’re even a little curious, book a free 25-minute consultation immediately through my website or through here to see if we’re a good match.