Erin McKnew, PsyD

I'm a seasoned psychologist specializing in burnout, perfectionism, people-pleasing and high-functioning codependency in California and Hawaii.

You juggle a lot, often more than anyone realizes. On the outside, it looks like you’re holding everything together: work, relationships, caregiving, the endless details of adult life. But quietly, the strain has been building. Maybe you’ve noticed new health issues, constant fatigue, overwhelm, trouble sleeping, anxiety that’s harder to ignore, or a nagging sense of self-doubt. Maybe your relationships feel tense or draining, or you’re caught in familiar patterns that leave you feeling unseen, exhausted, or disconnected. The strategies that once helped, like staying busy, being dependable, doing things just right, taking care of everyone, now come with increasing costs.

Many of the adults I work with would say they had a “good childhood.” And in many ways, they did. But they also learned early that certain emotions weren’t welcome, safe, or convenient for the adults around them. Some grew up with parents who were anxious, overwhelmed, emotionally immature, narcissistic, or struggling with alcoholism. Others lived with conflict, overt abuse, unpredictability, or subtle dismissiveness that shaped how they learned to belong. You might have adapted by tuning in to everyone else and tuning yourself out. Those adaptations were necessary then; they helped you navigate your family with as much stability as possible. But today, they show up as burnout, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or a deep pull to take care of others at your own expense.

Before starting my private practice, I spent most of my career in a major healthcare system, often seeing adults referred by their doctors for stress management. I worked with capable, driven, deeply caring people who handled everything life asked of them, until the cracks started appearing in quieter ways. What stood out to me was how often these adults felt unseen, even by themselves. Once they gave themselves permission to begin therapy, they made meaningful, lasting shifts: feeling more connected, healthier, grounded, and confident. That work was powerful, transformative, and deeply rewarding, and it’s the foundation of the practice I built.

I specialize in therapy for anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, and codependency in California and Hawaii. I also have extensive experience with caregivers, adult children of narcissistic or emotionally immature parents, and people who’ve spent years prioritizing everyone else. If you’re used to being the one others rely on, it can feel foreign to slow down and turn inward, but it’s often the exact shift that starts genuine growth.

In therapy, we’ll balance two things at once:
(1) practical change today through tools to ease anxiety, reduce overwhelm, set healthier boundaries, and respond differently in relationships; and
(2) deeper work on where your patterns come from, so you’re not constantly white-knuckling through life.

I tailor each session to your needs and draw from evidence-based practices including mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and trauma therapies such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing, and Dr. Karyl McBride’s trauma recovery model for adult children of narcissistic parents. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s sustainable growth that changes how you show up in the world and in your relationships.

I’m a Clinical Psychologist in Danville, CA, offering both in-person therapy and virtual sessions throughout California and Hawaii. If you’re feeling stretched thin, disconnected from yourself, or simply ready for something to shift, therapy can help. Take 20 minutes for a free consultation to see how I can help.